It is well.
We’ve been on a crazy ride the last 2 years but all is well. I know it is. You want to know how I know? We have two beautiful boys (I know I should say handsome but they are beautiful in their mama’s eyes), we’ve not gone hungry – not once – and we have the most fabulous and supportive friends and family on the planet. We are employed, we have wonderful memories, we attend an awesome church with a wonderful church body, and all.is.well.
Romans 12:22 says: “Rejoice in hope, endure in suffering, persist in prayer.”
Psalm 34:19 says “The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.”
Ten days is a long time to spend in the hospital. As you can imagine, I’ve spent a lot of it in a foggy haze, some of it sleeping, some of it watching Netflix, and some of it seeking Him. I’ve turned it round and round in my head… why would my husband have Crohn’s disease and have to have 2 bowel resections and then THIS happen to ME? Trust me, the water filter in the fridge is being changed, and we are knee-deep in conspiracy theory thoughts about the building materials used in our house. Ha.
But seriously… Why?
Did you know you could drive yourself crazy with one little word?
It leads to so much doubt, so much confusion, and it slowly and silently crowds out the peace. Because “Be still, Child, be still” is a whisper. Its the first to get crowded out when the whys happen.
I may never, ever know why. I may walk out of this place and never have to return and be welcomed home by a mailbox full of medical bills and never know why. The thing is, I don’t need to know why. I’d love to know, so I can prevent my current situation from ever happening again, but I don’t need to know.
My Lord delivers me.
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4
I have spent the last few days trying to turn this into joy. Trials are hard. Trials are messy. They break down the joy. They ooze of icky, yucky thoughts and doubts. But count it JOY, my brethren, because your faith through the trials is refining you. I can say with confidence, I am NOT the woman I was 2 years ago. I am stronger, more confident, more refined, than I was 2 years ago, young in the face of life’s trials.
We could sink a small yacht with the medical bills and doubts we have accrued over the years, but friends, it is well. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my God cares for me, loves me, and is leading me.
Refinement can be painful and most usually is. Perfection isn’t easy. But choose joy.
For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined. You brought us into the net; You laid an oppressive burden upon our loins. You made men ride over our heads; We went through fire and through water, Yet You brought us out into a place of abundance. Psalm 66:10-12
I’m choosing joy and abundance. Choose with me. Choose joy and have abundance, for it is well, it is well.