Deja Vu and a Guest Post

After two long days, we might have started to get some answers tonight. They have been treating Bethany for Colitis. Colitis is inflammation of the colon, specifically for Bethany, the transverse and descending colon. Basically, the area of her large intestine where it goes across her body and turns to go down the left side of her body is inflamed. As a result of that inflammation, the colon gets “weepy” and leaks fluid into the cavity surrounding it. This fluid is the build up of fluid that the original ultrasound found. This is what we know. The question has been what caused Colitis in a young, fit, very health and diet conscious, 31 year old women with no health problems? The doctor believes this is Ischemic Colitis. Ischemic Colitis is where a portion of the colon gets deprived, or starved, of blood for a period of time. This is typically seen in older patients or patients that have other underlying health concerns. The thought is that when Bethany was running on Monday, her body shifted the blood that was meant for this area of the colon away from the colon, and instead sent it to the muscles that she was using while running. Until this point, doctors believed she had colitis, but weren’t sure what type. Essentially, they knew the colon was inflamed, but there were multiple possibilities as to why. Even though the G.I. specialist believes this to be the case, it “fits”, it’s still not an absolutely definitive diagnosis. There is still the possibility that this colitis was brought on by a food borne bacteria/pathogen, making it infectious colitis. After much research and many, many questions, the reality is we may never know for sure the cause. What we do know is that we are here for at least the next few days as we are in this “watch and wait” period. They still need to make sure that this fluid in her abdomen is re-absorbed, and that the part of her colon that was deprived of blood is not permanently damaged, meaning she would lose that part of the colon and have to have a re-section done. Her doctors seem optimistic that she won’t have to have surgery and that part of the colon will wake up and function normally. Her diaphragm is also inflamed and the cavity that the lungs sit in, as a result of the inflamed fluid.

On Tuesday evening, with the doctors and ER team feverishly working on Bethany, my mind naturally begin to wonder; Why? Why her Lord? Why our family? What are you trying to teach us or prepare us for that we haven’t already learned in this difficult season? What did I do to cause this? I didn’t get very long into that thought process before the Holy Spirit reminded me that God isn’t conditional. He is ABSOLUTE. Unchanging. Constant. Steady. In His sovereingty and grace, He is Absolute. It’s not for me to always know the answers, the why’s and the how’s. I might not always know His reasoning, but I can always trust His infinite goodness. See even when I don’t feel it, or I choose to ignore it, God is always good. His ways are not my ways. As I’ve sat in this hospital the last two days, furiously researching potential causes and conditions, I’ve been reminded that it’s not up to me. Instinctively, I always try to control the outcome. If I can figure out the problem, than I can fix it. The common refrain there is I . I rely on me to figure it out, fix it, and prevent it and dedicate a large majority of time to that; when I should simply trust the Lord and His goodness. When “i” try to be the solution to the problem I rely on my own strength instead of looking to Christ for His. We may never know why, but what is for certain is that even in our darkest hour He is worthy. He is sufficient.

Once again, we have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and generosity. The calls, texts, offers of help with boys and to provide dinner, every single act of kindness has meant so much to us! The Lord has used you to encourage us in this time and for that we are so grateful! We truly have the greatest friends and family. We love you!


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