Surgery Eve (Again)

I think I’ve written a post before with that same title… or it at least felt a little familiar anyway.

Tomorrow morning, Brandon will have surgery… again. His surgeon came to see him tonight and told him that he watched a ton of footage from the capsule camera, mostly of the spot where he has a stricture in his small intestine. The surgeon will go in, retrieve the camera, and cut out the bad section of intestines.

I had someone ask me earlier if this was a pretty minor procedure.


NO, it most certainly is not MINOR. They can’t go through his nose or just numb him a little and then give him some gingerale and he will be fine.

No. The anesthesiologist will put him under, the surgeon will cut through his skin and abdominal wall, and then squeeze feet of his intestines until he finds where the camera is stuck, then examine the small intestine for other signs of blockage, CUT OUT THE BAD PART, reconnect the ends of the small intestines together, and then sew up my husband’s stomach. The surgery can take anywhere from 4-7 hours, the better part of the day, and then his recovery will be weeks long. I will bring him soup and help him set up shop downstairs since he won’t be able to climb stairs for awhile. He will be restricted to lifting less than 5lbs for about a month, and it will be tedious. The days will be long, and the path frustrating.

No, it is not a minor procedure.

Please, please join with me in praying for a SMOOTH, SUCCESSFUL procedure. Please pray that this is his last surgery. Please pray that his Crohn’s will go into remission and we can have a reprieve from this life filled with infusions and hospital stays and clinic visits and bloodwork and CT scans and surgeries. Please pray that he is a gracious patient and that I am a gracious nurse. I am tired and emotional and he is tired of feeling bad and irritable. We are ready to enjoy life with one another and not life with each other and Crohns.

Crohns, I hope you get the boot tomorrow. You have been disruptive long enough. I am claiming an end to this and hope you’ll join me in begging God for the same.

I will post updates in the morning and as I can throughout the day. If you recall, last year we prayed on the “fives” and you’re welcome to join me again in doing that.

Thank you for all the sweet messages. I will continue to read them to Brandon until he is taken back for surgery, so keep them coming. :) We love you all.

Hospital Update

Friends, we have received many messages and follow up questions about how Brandon is doing. THANK YOU. You have been so sweet to us and we rest a little easier knowing that an army of friends is bringing our concerns to the Lord Almighty. You are wonderful and we could not do life without you.

Here’s an update on his condition:

Today is day 3 in this hospital stay and we are beyond frustrated. When Brandon presented to the ER Tuesday night, he specifically talked with the doctors about not having a CT scan because he’s had so many in the past year, and it’s really not good for a patient to have so much radiation. We’re wanting to minimize our risks and potential side effects (because we’re already seeing negative outcomes from some of the treatments intended to “help”) and the doctors agreed it was in his best interest to not have another CT scan. They did an xray to rule out perforation and rupture and then he sat. For 2 whole days. Not eating and in pain and battling waves of intense nausea. Last night GI medicine finally came in and announced that they did not believe he had an obstruction and that he was going to have a CT scan shortly. Needless to say, we were upset that GI Surgery had not yet been consulted (we had been told they had been called earlier in the day and waited the whole day to see them) and that his GI doctors were making decisions opposite what had already been discussed.

Late last night, Brandon had a CT scan and GI maintains that he does not have an obstruction, but Internal Medicine (who is currently running point on his care) gets to decide and they agree with Brandon’s surgeon, that he likely DOES have a mechanical obstruction. Brandon’s surgeon (from his previous 2 resection surgeries) came by to see him earlier this afternoon and told us that the CT scan is not showing an obstruction in the sense that GI is thinking. His intestinal tract is NOT closed off completely. You might be thinking, so why is he in the hospital? Why is he having pain? What is causing all the nausea? Here is your medical lesson for the day (I learned something new today myself!!):

Your intestinal wall is made up of muscle, and food is moved through the tract by little squeezing motions, like contractions, that pulse the food on down the path. Well where Brandon had surgery, his intestinal wall has formed scar tissue and basically (this is the real dumbed down version coming from me, the furthest thing from a medical doctor, so just hear me out) that part of his intestines has become “paralyzed.” It doesn’t do that squeezing motion anymore because its stiff with scar tissue and the parts above that area have to work doubly hard and it’s gotten to the point that its causing Brandon extreme amounts of pain. Think about when you have a stomach ache with cramps, how it kind of comes in waves. The pain is like that for him, only it’s not just when he has a stomachache. It gets to be whenever he eats. Whenever food is trying to go down his intestinal tract. Think about that. Think about all the times throughout the day you eat. Every day. How awful.

The plan now is to have Brandon do a procedure called a capsule endoscopy. Basically, he will swallow a camera in the shape of a pill and it will take pictures of his intestines on the inside. His doctor has been talking about this procedure for half a year now, so it is somewhat a relief to know that will finally happen.

The risks with normal capsule endoscopy are minimal, but in Brandon’s case, the doctor thinks the capsule will get stuck (in the part of the intestinal tract that is thickened and not moving!) and that his surgeon will have to go in and retrieve it. At which time, they might as well go ahead and take out the blockage! His surgeon came in today and told us that Brandon is on the schedule for surgery for Wednesday. He is currently doing a bowel prep (which is no fun at all, seriously.) and will swallow the capsule tomorrow.

I am feeling so many emotions right now, I’m not sure I know how to even describe it all. I spent a large portion of time between 3:30-5:30am last night begging God to heal Brandon and to give his doctors undeniable wisdom and clarity. I am so distraught over how all of this affects Brandon. There’s the obvious, of course, that he deals with a lot each and every day physically. He is tough and on any given day, you’d probably never know anything is wrong, but I know. Because I see it. Up close and personal. It’s raw and its real, and it truly is amazing that he can go to work every day, parent our children every day, and love me gently as his wife, while being in pain, or nauseas, or uncomfortable, or tired, or anxious, or all of the above.

This hospitalization has felt different for me, I think because I have truly battled feeling overwhelmed with it all. I’d like to think I can balance work, owning a business, parenting 2 small children and being pregnant with a third gracefully, but to be honest, I’m juggling about 17 things right now and I feel like all of them are on the floor, having been dropped, by me. I’m so tired. And so worried I won’t be able to handle it all. And I’m worried. I’m worried about my husband, about how he’s dealing with all of the same emotions, but being trapped, unable to do anything about it all, in his hospital room. I’m sad that he’s feeling so crappy, and I’m worried that he’s worried. I hate that he’s been through so much, and I hate that I’m not more understanding at times. That I snap back when he’s feeling bad, and hold a grudge when he’s not himself.

As usual, you can pray for us specifically, because I believe there is power in taking specific requests to the throne of Almighty God:

For minimal pain and nausea and discomfort for Brandon these next few days

That his mind would be eased and he would not be anxious

That the team of doctors would truly look at his individual case and determine the best course of action for HIM

That there would be clear answers from the capsule procedure

That the boys would not worry

That he could avoid surgery if possible

That we could determine an effective treatment plan so that we don’t end up here again in the next few months

That I can be productive and focused at work early next week so that I won’t feel as guilty about being away the rest of the week to be with Brandon

That his recovery would be swift and without complications

That he would FEEL GOOD

Thank you for praying with us and for us. We love you all and are so grateful for your friendship and your diligence in showing us what community really is all about. I will keep you posted as I can and appreciate your words of encouragement more than I can say. This man is my world, and today, on our tenth wedding anniversary, the best gift I can receive is knowing you’re all praying for him. <3

(Read more about Brandon’s Crohn’s story here.)

16 Weeks Pregnant With Baby Delk #3


I’ve been terrible about blogging lately. I think about it often, but I’ve been so busy (and tired and not feeling like blogging because it kind of makes me nauseated to type/read a lot on the computer) and it just sort of falls by the wayside. The blogger in me is mad at myself because there are lots of memories not captured. ugh… BUT, here we are, at 16 weeks pregnant, and I want to remember some of this pregnancy so here we go!

The last few weeks have been super busy. Most of you know that I recently took the leap and became a LuLaRoe fashion consultant. What started as a simple curiosity about some “buttery soft” leggings, has grown into a full fledged thriving business opportunity for our family. I innocently had a pop-up boutique back in March to see what the fuss was all about – after all I wasn’t going to be suckered into buying something that wasn’t what it was cracked up to be, until I had tried them on myself. Insert laugh at the irony! After praying about it for a few weeks, we decided to join forces with my friend and start a business. Why? The reason is simple. We have enormous amounts of medical (and student loan) debt and we are determined to pay it all off, so that we can provide the life we want for our children. Financial debt is stressful (can I get an Amen!?) and stress aggravates Crohn’s Disease and aggravated Crohn’s Disease lands my husband in the hospital – twice now under the knife of a GI surgeon – and there’s only so much small intestine in there.

To those of you who have supported our small business, thank you! Every bit of our share of the profits will go towards paying off medical bills and we are already anticipating the end of this burden! The Lord has blessed this endeavor thus far and we are so grateful for His favor. We have put in long hours and lots of hard work and quite frankly, I’ve been exhausted. There have been many a late night spent pouring over inventory, sending or reviewing invoices, and planning all while being so nauseous and exhausted but I feel certain that the Lord has us right here for a reason. We have already seen the fruits of our labor and we are beyond thrilled that this venture has been so successful already.

Along with putting in lots of hard work, being a LuLaRoe consultant is also a ton of fun! It’s like Christmas every time we get a shipment in, and we get to play dress up with women and help them feel beautiful! Plus we’ve already been able to bless so many people through this business. That’s the best part. Without LuLaRoe, we would not be able to bless people as generously as we have been able to.

And a bonus, LuLaRoe makes for really cute maternity clothes!!! Which leads me to my survey…


How far along: 16 weeks

Baby’s size: Baby is 4-5 inches long already – wow!

Total weight gain / loss: +4lbs

Maternity clothes: Not yet! I’ve totally been protesting maternity clothes even though I’m much bigger at this stage than in my previous pregnancies!

Stretch marks: Already starting to stretch more! I’m trying to just embrace them. I’ll worry about swim suit season later 😉

Sleep: Mostly good…I’ve been so exhausted that I really haven’t even woken up to go to the bathroom!

Loving: Feeling the baby move <3

Loathing: Being nauseous. And my sweets aversion. And my coffee aversion. I miss milkshakes and ice cream. I’m pregnant and I deserve to be able to drink a milkshake, right?!

Missing: being in shape. I am so out of shape it’s not even funny. I just want to be able to get to the gym every day and have energy.

Movement: I started feeling tiny little baby kicks about a week and a half ago. Enter the swoon, heart eyed emoji. I wasn’t sure at first but then I distinctly felt soft little kicks.

Cravings: Salads with Italian or balsamic vinaigrette dressing and baked potatoes still. I’m starting to crave healthier foods again, which is great because during the first trimester I only wanted everything that I never eat: fast food, pasta, mac n cheese, fried chicken sandwiches… you get the picture.

Aversions: COFFEE. The sweets aversion seems to be waning a little but I still don’t crave anything sweet. Crazy!

Labor signs: None

Symptoms: Morning sickness some still.

Exercise: I worked out once last week. UGH. I have GOT to get back in shape. I feel gross.

Belly button: Already popped out, but that wasn’t a big deal since my boys already gave me a belly button adjustment 😉

Wedding rings: Still rockin’ em! :)

Mood: Pretty good this week although I was a little irritable a few days this week. I may or may not have snapped at Brandon this week in the stress of working a full time job, running a small business, and having family come in town for Maverick’s birthday party. Its ok 😉 we worked it out and he was a champ in helping me!

Husband: Again, been such a big help to me. He has really taken on the role of Dad and Mr. Mom while I’ve been pregnant and starting a business. Thank you babe. I love you more every day!

Can’t wait for: Our anatomy scan in a few weeks!

These are fun pictures.. enjoy! 😉 See if you can guess which pregnancy was first, middle and current! Hint hint, the ones where I’m huge already are the ones in which my abs were destroyed by the first 2 babies! :)

img_5201 img_5202


Read other bumpdates here.

13 Weeks Pregnant

imageI love being able to go back and read about my other pregnancies so I want to document everything about this baby too. I have been too sick to blog before now so this will have to do. To summarize weeks 6-12: NAUSEAS

YEP, that about wraps it up. I went through my typical Taco Bell craving phase (that silly cheesy gordita crunch gets me every pregnancy! 😜) and was so intensely sick the last 7 weeks, I haven’t been myself at all. I haven’t cleaned, cooked, or been much of a wife or mom at all. I’ve been eating zofran and phenegren like candy, and I could care less if I ever saw another saltine in my life.

Heres to rounding out the last of the first trimester and feeling better!

How far along: 13 weeks

Baby’s size: Baby is almost 3 inches long already – wow!

Total weight gain / loss: +2

Maternity clothes: not yet, but I’ve had to do the hair tie trick already with a few pairs of pants. I’m not ready to feel fat yet.

Stretch marks: Oh you mean all the lovely ones my boys gave me? Yep, still there and starting to stretch more I’m sure :/

Sleep: Mostly good… a few weeks ago I was waking up here and there in the middle of the night because I felt like I was going to vomit. Other than the fear that raced through my heart that a) I was going to throw up and b) I really hated to throw up on our comforter, I have been sleeping pretty well.

Loving: Starrrrrrting to feel somewhat better.

Loathing: Being nauseous. Haven’t I paid my dues already?! I am so over being sick.

Missing: working out. I have been so sick, I haven’t been able to work out, and I also have let myself sleep for as long as possible every morning because you can’t be nauseous while you’re asleep… oh wait, see response about sleep above…

Movement: Nothing yet!

Cravings: baked potatoes, mashed potatoes

Aversions: COFFEE and sweets. Oh my goodness, the smell of coffee sends me running for the toilet to lose my lunch and sweets want OUT as soon as they get inside my belly… out the way they came unfoturnately. I can’t eat fruit, ketchup, or any kind of dessert or candy. You can just forget it. Its not worth it.

Labor signs: None

Symptoms: Morning sickness

Exercise: none this week. I can’t wait to get back in the gym.

Belly button: Already out loud and proud! (Thanks boys!!!)

Wedding rings: Still rockin’ em! :)

Mood: A little emotional, but not too bad… says the pregnant woman. Maybe you should ask my hubby this…

Husband: Been such a huge help while I’ve been so sick. We only had only little spat where I screamed and danced around and had steam coming from my ears, but we talked it out and I think we’re on the same page now! haha! But seriously, he has been Mr. Mom and Dad the last few weeks and has done more housework and taking care of the boys that I could ever thank him for. He has been a huge help, because let me just tell you, this girl has barely been able to get out of bed. I have been so sick and honestly haven’t been able to do anything to help. Hello single parent.

Can’t wait for: Our labor Day weekend trip!!


A Good Father

Today was a hard day. It’s a Monday so it’s not all too surprising, but for me if I’m honest, most Mondays aren’t actually all that bad. I make a point to get up early on Mondays to spend time with the Lord, and then go to the gym. It sets the right tone for my week.

My alarm went off at 4:45 this morning and I peeled my eyeballs open one at a time and off we went. Thus began a normal Monday for me. It hasn’t been terrible, really, but my heart is so burdened for others, I feel as though I’m trudging through mud, and can barely move my feet forward, and my head hurts from crying so stinkin’ much.

For the last several months, every Monday morning, I ask my coworker how her weekend was, knowing the answer ahead of time… and dreading it.

See, she’s watching her brother die from a brain tumor.

It is the most heartbreaking thing to watch. Maybe it’s because she’s been such a sweet friend to me, maybe it’s because I’m a little more sensitive to others’ hardships now, or maybe it’s because I have a brother myself, but I can’t get through my Monday morning without crying because it just hasn’t been good news for a while.

Today, I couldn’t get her off my mind, because he doesn’t have much longer on this earth, and I know how very hard this has all been for her. Today, I spent my lunch break weeping for this sweet girl and her tender heart. Today, I wept like a baby in the middle of a store because my heart is just so burdened for her.

I also wept because I thought of a couple in our family facing what must feel like an impossible future ahead. They both have serious health concerns and 3 small children. I know fear must be lurking at every corner. I know those corners all too well. I have begged God for miracles and bright sunny days on their behalf.

I got an update about someone I know with cancer. The news wasn’t great and they are so discouraged. The road ahead seems long and without much to look forward to. Their daughter is dear to me and I have cried out to the Lord on her behalf much over the last month. “She’s too young,” I reason. She’s too tender and too sweet to have to carry this burden. “God, please be good to her” I beg.

Today, one of our family members suffered a heart attack (after weeks of other health procedures and trials) and is in critical condition. The family was called in tonight to say goodbye, but fortunately for us, it is just “see you later.” Brandon got a phone call on the way home and went straight to the hospital where he is with all of the family, singing that sweet man into heaven. Sweet, familiar hymns of God’s grace and goodness.

I have wept today, really wept, more than I have in a long time. My heart cries out for these sweet people near to me, going through such difficult battles. In addition to these hardships, I know 2 more young mamas, one who was just diagnosed with cervical cancer and the other who was diagnosed with an incurable disease. In crying out to the Lord today, I have heard Him whisper very clearly to me, “I am still good” and I know this down deep in my core. He is good. He is good, even when it seems as though what we’re going through isn’t very “good.”

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; his love endures forever.” Psalm 107:1

See, when you’re watching your brother fade from this life, know that He is good. God loves you and is piecing together the puzzle that we don’t yet understand. He is there, and He is good.

When you lock eyes with your spouse in the midst of a health crisis, know that He is good. He knows you have young babies, and He’s writing a beautiful story for them, and for you. Let Him comfort you, and fear not. He is there, and He is good.

When your loved one feels crummy, because chemo and radiation can do that, rest in the grace of God Almighty. It is hard, and it seems unfair, but He is good! He is whispering softly to you and wants you to rest in Him. He is good, so good.

When one of the patriarchs of the family is at the doorstep to heaven, and you can’t imagine life without him, know that He is good. When it seems impossible for you to live without your other half, the man you intertwined yourself with for the better part of almost a century, know that He is good. God named each of the sparrows, and He counts each tear that falls from your face. He is so good, so so good! Rest in Him when you’re weary, because He will give you rest.

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:8

I have been so burdened for so many people today and all day, God kept reminding me today that He is good. He is sweet, and He is good. I have wrestled with this all day and I thought about this… when I parent my children, I have to sometimes watch them make mistakes, or get hurt, or walk through something painful and I don’t relish in those moments of their pain and their sorrow. Instead, I feel their pain as if it were my own, often wishing I could take it from them for myself. I hold them close after they’ve been hurt, and I whisper softly in their hair “Mommy is here. It’s OK. Mommy is here. I know this was painful, but Mommy loves you and I am here.”

I have prayerfully asked the Lord for mercy and goodness on behalf of each of you, and I hope you rest well tonight, hearing Him whisper in your hair “I am here, I love you so much. It will be OK, child. I am here.”

Post Discharge

Today marks 2 weeks since I was discharged from the hospital (the second time). I was hospitalized 21 days out of the month of January. That. Is. Crazy.

Since my discharge, Brandon was discharged 2 days later on high dose steroids and we’re both rocking the low-residue healing diet. We’ve been joking that we’re a match made in heaven! How funny is that?! But on a serious note, I gained a whole new appreciation for what Brandon has been through. This is no walk in the park. And I will heal and most likely never deal with this again. Brandon has to face a lifetime of this. Oh, I hurt for him just knowing that pain like that lies ahead of him potentially.

“What’s the plan?”, you ask… Well, the plan for me is to heal – rest, low-residue diet for a few weeks, no heavy lifting, no working out for 3 months, and no running, ever. In a few weeks I will be off all medication and slowly incorporating more “regular” foods (read- VEGGIES!!!) back into my diet, and hopefully back to work soon. I’ve watched my fair share of Netflix and I’m ready to get back to normal… Now, when I’m pulling my hair out in a few months because we’re crazy busy like “normal”, just remind me that I was tired of watching tv and that I wanted this.

The plan for Brandon is to continue his steroid taper (which is working to open up the partial intestinal blockage that landed him in the hospital) in hopes that we can get the inflammation down to the point that the Remicade can work. And the Remicade dosage will be increased at his next infusion. We have 2 options available to us: increase the dosage, or increase the frequency at which the infusions occur. Our doctor has put us on the track to increase his dosage first and we will see how that plays out. I’m still hopeful that the Remicade will work, and that we can get this nasty Crohn’s under control. In case you’re just joining us on this journey, Brandon has a very aggressive form of stricturing Crohn’s. When the Crohn’s is active, that’s when the scar tissue forms. We need to pray that we can get the active Crohn’s to settle down and go into remission. Remission can last for years and that is my prayer. That we can live in remission and free from worry.

Forgive my lack of posts the last two weeks. It’s not like I haven’t had the time… I’ve had plenty of time, but I’ve been in a bit of a haze from the pain medication still and have been doing a lot of reflecting. I’ve got another post in the works but I don’t want to overdo it on this one.

For now, though, I have found myself so incredibly grateful and embracing just how blessed we are. You might be wondering how I can feel this way, when I just spent 3 weeks in the hospital and with Brandon’s health history, but let me put it in perspective… things could be so much worse. Sure, we started out 2016 with 2 hospitalizations, but neither of us has cancer, and both of our children are healthy! I could be writing post after post about how one of my sons is sick, or how one of us has a terminal illness… but I’m not. I’m writing about little storms in the Delk’s lives and how each of you has helped us weather them.

This past Sunday at church, our pastor showed a video, an NFL football Sunday video. I cried through the entire thing. You might find that odd, considering it was a video of NFL football players for Super Bowl Sunday, but I found myself relating immediately to Thomas Davis, linebacker for the Carolina Panthers, and the tears just wouldn’t stop. Call me crazy, but I felt like the video was just for me, on my first Sunday back at church, and I felt God clearly speaking to me.

I am so blessed and I feel like I’m bursting at the seams to tell everyone. If you’ve got 25 minutes to watch the video, you won’t regret it, but if you can only spare a few minutes, listen to Thomas Davis’ story (minutes 1-5) and Trent Dilfer’s story (minutes 15-21), just keep the tissues handy. I’d love to hear your reactions to the video.

I have a big ole gratefulness post but I’ll save that for later since this one is already long enough. Thanks for praying for us during this time, friends. We value each of you and I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, we’re convinced we have the best family and friends in the world.


The Unthinkable

The unthinkable has occurred. Brandon is in the hospital.

Brandon hasn’t been feeling good for a few weeks now and I finally got him to contact his doctor’s office yesterday and they immediately set him up for a CT scan yesterday after work. He was miserable all day and couldn’t eat and by the time he got to the imaging center he was so nauseated and in so much pain that he was having a hard time drinking the contrast solution.

He didn’t make it to CT. He began getting violently ill and was rushed to the Emergency Room by ambulance. He has been in the Emergency Room all night and been medicated for pain and nausea and had a CT scan done there.

The CT scan showed a partial obstruction at what looks like the spot where his intestines were stitched back together, which is a common occurrence. The good news at this point is that the surgeon doesn’t think he needs to operate right now. What they plan to do yet I’m not sure. The bad news is that the looming question in our minds may be true…

Is the Remicade not working?

Brandon was admitted to the hospital last night but there are no beds available so they are still in the ER. Please pray that a room opens up soon so he can be more comfortable.

This is a disaster right now. I can’t even believe my life. I was hiding last night (sorry if you messaged and I didn’t respond) and just tucked myself away because I was having such a hard time. Please pray with us. Things could be worse, and I know that, but this is very difficult. We are having to fully rely on God right now, because nothing seems to make sense. I’m clinging to His promises.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

I’ll update as I can. Thank you, beautiful support system, your encouragement means the world to me right now.

More on Brandon’s story.

More on my story.

Yes, this is crazy.

More on the Crazy Colon Story

21 days. I have been in this place for 21 days. Ew. Just ew.

Here’s where we are in the whole process…

Immediately after publishing my last blog post, I felt a little chilled so I decided to get in the bed and under the covers to warm up. I couldn’t get warm. I called for some warm blankets and was still shivering so hard the bed shook. Silly me, I didn’t think anything of it, just that my thermostat must have been cut down real low and that I had gotten cold wearing this fabulous, but thin, hospital gown. Brandon’s aunt and uncle came to visit me and I apologized for not getting out of bed but I told them that I really was just chilled to the bone. We had a great visit, I seemed to warm up a bit, and as soon as they left, I felt myself start to feel weak.

Suddenly it hit me and I called for the nursing assistant to come take my temperature.


Wowzers! I was really sick! And it had happened quick! I vaguely remember calling Brandon and my mom and then everything else is a blur. At one point I called to have some help getting out of the bed and to the bathroom because I felt so weak and so achey. I waited and no one came for about 15 minutes so I pulled myself out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. As I was clinging onto my IV pole and the handicap railing on the wall, I heard my name called out and the bathroom door flung open. Brittney was magically there and helped me get back in the bed. Bless her. I honestly don’t remember much else about that night other than being so grateful that Brittney had ended up in my room. She took care of me for a few hours and she and Brandon and Joan helped facilitate me getting more than just 2 Tylenol for the fever.

Clearly something wasn’t right if I had spiked a high fever like that so they requested that my doctor be paged and antibiotics and fluids started right away. By morning, I felt much better.

I’m still on IV antibiotics and have had a few other scans done and have a repeat CT scan scheduled for tomorrow. Pray with me that the fluid will be even less in this scan than the last one, and that the inflammation in my colon will have decreased as well.

I had an ultrasound done on my leg at the puncture site where they went in for my angiogram because I’m still having serious pain in my leg. The ultrasound showed that I have a 5cm by 1cm hematoma – which is basically a collection of blood within the blood tissue, outside of the blood vessel – and that’s the cause of my pain. No wonder my leg hurts! I have a big ole bruise under the skin, in the muscle! Owie! If you see me limping around, it’s because I’ve got a boo-boo in my leg, not because my colon is weighing me down. Hahahah!


After many a day spent eating clear liquids (that sounds funny to say “eating clear liquids”. I feel like I should say “drinking” instead, but whatevs), I was finally progressed to a full liquid diet – soup, milkshakes, ice cream, yogurt – and after tolerating that well, they advanced my diet to soft foods, a low-residue diet. Basically a low-residue diet is a low fiber diet, sooooo, basically all the foods I never usually eat: pasta, mac n cheese, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, white breads, and I’m to have no raw fruits and veggies, and broccoli, brussel sprouts, and salads are out. WAAAAHHH. Is this real life?! I love broccoli, see prior post for explanation, and brussel sprouts are a serious close second. (Please do me a favor and if you’ve never had roasted brussel sprouts, please toss them in olive oil and sea salt and roast them and enjoy them on my behalf over the next few months. You will love them. Seriously. Everyone I have ever made them for loves them.)

I have lost a lot of weight not being able to eat over the last 3 weeks and my doctor and some of my family are worried about it. But trust me, if all I’m allowed to eat are things like pasta and white breads, don’t worry, I’ll fatten back up eventually. When taking my lunch tray away the other day, my nursing assistant commented to another employee “She hasn’t eaten hardly anything. No wonder she’s lost weight. I mean she needs to eat!” Well, scuse me Miss-I-didn’t-ask-for-your-opinion-or-condemnation-but-you-gave-it-anyway, but I haven’t eaten for 3 weeks, my colon and pancreas are angry with me, I’m slightly afraid of making them mad all over again, AND my stomach has shrunk! I can’t eat but a few bites at a time! Sorry, a bit of “I’m tired of being in the hospital” escaped me just then…

The plan is for another doctor to come consult today to talk about the plan for my antibiotics. Do I need them still? Will I be discharged with them? Orally? Intravenously? I will have a ct scan done tomorrow or Thursday and then hopefully discharge will follow soon after.

By Sunday I was feelin’ a little frisky. I had been snowed in at the hospital with no visitors since Thursday, and I had a nurse who was a real rule follower that day and it was grating on my last nerve. Sunday afternoon Mom walked through my hospital room door and I could have kissed her! Ahh, people! My people! Here!! And not just through FaceTime! Woohoo!! She and Deryl had braved the icy roads and driven all the way to see me! I was thrilled. Mom and I had a bit of a slumber party that night. She brought me some games so of course we played them, she gave me a mini-manicure (my nails hadn’t seen any attention for 3 weeks – eek!), we watched the Panthers game (#keeppounding!) and then watched a movie until it was so late we couldn’t keep our eyes open. Thanks Mom and Deryl for being the sunshine in my snowstorm!! :)

Yesterday was a pretty good day… most of you probably saw my picture on Instagram or Facebook but if you didn’t, the nurses all pitched in to get me a gift and a card. It was so sweet! I cried!


Then, I got a shower. Wooohooooo! This is a big deal in the hospital because you have to have a doctor’s order – Yes, I’d like patient B.Delk to maintain personal hygiene and get the funk taken care of today – and you have to be unhooked from the IV, have the IV site waterproofed – usually done very professionally, like with a cut off latex glove or a sandwich baggie with the bottom cut off and the ends masking taped around my arm – and then of course have the strength to stand up and bathe for that long. After my shower, Brittney fixed my hair and I put on a little bit of makeup and Joey and Nicole came to visit and brought me a gift! A cute little outfit that I had to put on right away (I wish I had known before now that I could wear real clothes!!) and I seriously felt human again!


To top it all off, Joan brought me yummy potato soup!! So good! Thank you Joan! I’ve been dreaming about potato soup! :)


If you have called, texted, messaged, visited, sent a card, sent a gift, dropped off food, given gift cards or money, watched the boys, THANK YOU. I am trying to keep a running tally of everyone I need to write a thank you note to, and it is getting to be quite the serious list. Our family is so blessed! We are richly and abundantly blessed! And you have no idea how encouraging you’ve been. Thank you sweet friends, thank you. I could get all sappy right here, but I won’t because my lunch tray just got here and you know how exciting hospital food is right?!

If you want to join us in prayer, here are some specifics I’m praying for this week:

  • No more infection
  • That the fluid will have completely reabsorbed into my body and allow my belly to heal.
  • For reduced inflammation of my colon
  • For my pancreas to quit being so angry with me and simmer down
  • Reduced pain
  • For my digestive system to handle food well and not rebel against it
  • That my body would get enough vitamins and nutrients to stay healthy (with not eating for several weeks, there was talk of IV nutrition, but we opted to go ahead with advancing my diet and all of the supplement drinks they want me to try are making me gag or upsetting my stomach – Ensure, Carnation Instant Breakfast, etc)
  • That my leg would heal and I would have no lasting effects from the angiogram (because right now it seriously hurts to walk!)
  • That I would be able to go HOME this week (and stay home!!!)
  • For my sweet babies. This is rough on them and they don’t know how to react. Maverick woke up in the middle of the night the other night and demanded that Brandon take him to the hospital to see Mommy. Oy. My heart.
  • For my Brandon. He’s playing Dad and Mr. Mom so well right now, but its tough. And when I say tough, I mean, so-hard-to-juggle-work-laundry-meals-for-everyone-hospital-visits-childcare and on top of that the stress. Stress is a main trigger for a Crohn’s flare, and friends, please pray hard with me, because he hasn’t been feeling the greatest, and I am so worried. I hate I’ve put all of this stress on him and I want to fix it, but right now I’m attached to an IV pole, unable to do a darn thing. Please, please pray for this man. And if you’ve offered to help him, bless you. I want to repay you all for your kindnesses, and keep them coming, because the only help he’s getting right now is through you, and for that I am eternally grateful.
  • Travel safety for my mom and Deryl as they travel to and from NC to be with me, and for Joan as she comes almost every day to be with me and help Brandon.

If you’re new around here and want to catch up, feel free to read the rest of my Crazy Colon Story. 😉

A Discouraging Week and a Few Answers

I honestly haven’t wanted to write an update. I’ve been back here (in the hospital) since Sunday, and I’ve been a little more discouraged and battling the pain and nausea and “oh poor me’s” so blogging has been far from my mind. If you’ve texted me and my replies are short, its because I’m swimming through the pain medication fog, or gritting my teeth through the sharp pangs of pain in my side.

I was discharged Friday, spent a glorious one and a half days at home, and then by Sunday mid-morning Mom was gripping me by the shoulders and telling me that she was taking me back to the Emergency Room. To be still, Josh and Deryl would carry me to the car. That the boys would be fine, Christa would watch them and feed them and play legos and superheros and put together puzzles.

It was snowing, and the drive to the hospital is a blur. I remember gritting my teeth and moaning and crying and being carried to a wheelchair and whisked inside. A new bracelet was slapped on my wrist (I could have probably worn the one from the first admission but I’d lost so much weight that it slipped right off) and I was immediately wheeled to a room in the Emergency Room. In a flurry of activity, I was dressed in a gown, hooked up to an EKG machine, and had an IV started. It took multiple rounds of IV pain meds to get my pain under control. I was in agony. I reserve “10” on the pain scale for childbirth, but this was a definite “9.”

My labs came back with elevated lipase levels which means I had pancreatitis. The long and short of it (and the best my doctor can explain) is that basically my colon was so inflamed that it aggravated my pancreas and caused my levels to rise. I’ve had pancreatitis once before, years ago, a fluke thing, and it was incredibly painful. I didn’t eat for 2 weeks and was on enzymes to help digest my food for months and then I was fine. Haven’t looked back.


Now I’m in the hospital with ischemic colitis and pancreatitis. I feel ridiculous. Seriously. Part of the reason I didn’t want to post an update is that I feel absurd! I am not a sick person! Why am I laid up in the hospital with these ridiculously serious and painful conditions?! I want to be working and running to the grocery store with the rest of the county, trying to buy bread and milk and batteries. I do not want to be here.

Monday was frustrating. No one had called my GI doctor yet and by this point we were ready to transfer to UNC. Monday evening he came by, shocked that I was here and immediately took charge. He ordered another vascular consult, and that physician scheduled an angiogram for Wednesday. An angiogram (or arteriogram) is basically a procedure in which the physician goes through your femoral artery in your leg and feeds tiny tube and camera up through your veins and arteries.

Praise the Lord we did this test. Typically you have 3 main arteries that feed blood vessels to your colon. The angiogram found that I have only 2 arteries and that the third is not there. So, one of my other arteries has been trying its hardest to compensate and that’s probably why I haven’t had more trouble than I have. (It’s just like me to have ambitious arteries haha!) Needless to say, we were so relieved to FINNNNALLY have an answer of some sort.

No one told me about the pain from the angiogram though. Oh my. After the procedure I was in so much pain. My leg felt like it was being amputated. I generally have thick legs (a product of years of gymnastics, cheerleading and working out) but since I haven’t eaten in 2 weeks, I’ve lost some weight and the vascular physician said that because I was so thin, the artery was right next to the nerve and I would probably have severe pain for several days. He was right. In the middle of the night last night I woke up crying from the pain and have been on pain medication round the clock.

This morning I had an MRI. It showed that the pancreas is doing ok, and has no defects, and that the colon is still inflamed and has fluid surrounding it. It also showed that the bottoms of my lungs are collapsed from having sat in so much fluid the past 2 weeks. Don’t worry though, it isn’t permanent and once I get moving around a little more and breathing less shallowly and get rid of some of this fluid, the lungs will fill back up with air.

Overall, I’m a little more discouraged this go round and rockin’ some serious pain. The doctors want to try me on a liquid diet again (I haven’t eaten since Saturday) and then progress me if I can tolerate it. They also want to wean me off of IV pain meds to a regimen that I can handle at home. I am still in a lot of pain, so if you want to pray for me, I’d appreciate it.

I’m also really, really, really bummed that I’m going to get snowed in at the hospital by myself, while my boys build snowmen and sled down the hill and eat snow cream. I want to cry over this. I wanted to be able to go home today. I want to be able to eat. I want to not have an IV connected to my arm. I want to snuggle my boys without having to say “be careful of mommy’s tummy and her leg!” I want to cuddle up on the couch and watch movies and see the snow falling and eat homemade potato soup and brownies and other yummy snowed-in foods. I’m tired of being woozy and foggy and nauseous. I want to sleep in my own bed. I want to wear my own clothes. I want to bound out of bed and make the boys pancakes and sausage in the morning.

Seriously sad face emoji over here.

See, this is why I haven’t posted this week. Because I’m on the struggle bus and I don’t like being negative but I feel a little discouraged, yall! I am trying really hard to not have a pity party. If I’m delayed in responding to your messages forgive me. This week has been especially difficult and I didn’t want any negativity to come across.

I’m reminding myself that I have the opportunity to choose joy, and that’s the better of the choices, so joy it is. Enjoy the lovely snow! I’ll be stalking Facebook for all your snow pictures so keep em comin!

It Is Well, I Just Know It Is

It is well.

We’ve been on a crazy ride the last 2 years but all is well. I know it is. You want to know how I know? We have two beautiful boys (I know I should say handsome but they are beautiful in their mama’s eyes), we’ve not gone hungry – not once – and we have the most fabulous and supportive friends and family on the planet. We are employed, we have wonderful memories, we attend an awesome church with a wonderful church body, and

Romans 12:22 says: “Rejoice in hope, endure in suffering, persist in prayer.”

Psalm 34:19 says “The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.”


Ten days is a long time to spend in the hospital. As you can imagine, I’ve spent a lot of it in a foggy haze, some of it sleeping, some of it watching Netflix, and some of it seeking Him. I’ve turned it round and round in my head… why would my husband have Crohn’s disease and have to have 2 bowel resections and then THIS happen to ME? Trust me, the water filter in the fridge is being changed, and we are knee-deep in conspiracy theory thoughts about the building materials used in our house. Ha.

But seriously… Why?

Did you know you could drive yourself crazy with one little word?


It leads to so much doubt, so much confusion, and it slowly and silently crowds out the peace. Because “Be still, Child, be still” is a whisper. Its the first to get crowded out when the whys happen.

I may never, ever know why. I may walk out of this place and never have to return and be welcomed home by a mailbox full of medical bills and never know why. The thing is, I don’t need to know why. I’d love to know, so I can prevent my current situation from ever happening again, but I don’t need to know.

My Lord delivers me.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

I have spent the last few days trying to turn this into joy. Trials are hard. Trials are messy. They break down the joy. They ooze of icky, yucky thoughts and doubts. But count it JOY, my brethren, because your faith through the trials is refining you. I can say with confidence, I am NOT the woman I was 2 years ago. I am stronger, more confident, more refined, than I was 2 years ago, young in the face of life’s trials.

We could sink a small yacht with the medical bills and doubts we have accrued over the years, but friends, it is well. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my God cares for me, loves me, and is leading me.

Refinement can be painful and most usually is. Perfection isn’t easy. But choose joy.

For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined. You brought us into the net; You laid an oppressive burden upon our loins. You made men ride over our heads; We went through fire and through water, Yet You brought us out into a place of abundance. Psalm 66:10-12

I’m choosing joy and abundance. Choose with me. Choose joy and have abundance, for it is well, it is well.